


A Nearly Perfect Game

by ktccd



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bulges and Nooks (Homestuck), Come Inflation, Doomed Timeline(s) (Homestuck), Fluff and Smut, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Hermaphroditic Trolls (Homestuck), Light Angst, Multi, Nooks (Homestuck), Polyamory, Seer Conspiracy Against Helpless Knights, Shameless Smut, Sloppy Makeouts, Tentabulges (Homestuck), Threesome - F/M/M, Troll Biology (Homestuck)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:47:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28045650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ktccd/pseuds/ktccd
Summary: Dave and his friends chose another path to victory, but when timelines don't matter and they're left to their own devices, he finds himself tricked into being honest about his feelings for once.(Shameless Dave/Terezi/Karkat smut, mind the tags if you have strong opinions about Troll Biology)
Relationships: Terezi Pyrope/Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Kudos: 20





	A Nearly Perfect Game

#  A Nearly Perfect Game

The sound of a sword cutting through flesh rang out through frozen time, as Dave stood still. If he had a sheathe for this hugeass sword, he would have sheathed it all slow and dramatic like. As it was, he had to improvise by not reacting until the right moment.

When Bec Noir's arm slowly began to split and fall to the floor, it suddenly disappeared into the air, appearing in Jade's hand where she plucked the ring off of his finger.

"Score!" she shouted before disappearing and reappearing by Dave.

He still hadn't let go of his timestop. She was kind of ruining his ironic anime protagonist showdown here. But because it was actually a good idea to take the ring out of Bec's reach, he figured he shouldn't say anything. If Bec had just grabbed the ring back when he unfroze time, that would have probably ruined everything.

Finally, he let go, returning the two of them to the normal flow of time, where his friends jumped on the now-depowered Bec Noir. There was really no contest at this point, the guy had one less arm and his Guardian-powers faded within a split second. Dave would say he put up a good fight, but he was honestly sick of the guy by now.

This was it. This was the final difficult thing they'd had to do, finishing the game would be a piece of cake from this point, considering the vast assortment of powers their combined sessions of players had.

But something felt off to him. Ever since they decided to nix the plan of blowing up the Green Sun, he'd been feeling increasingly uncomfortable.

For one thing, where had the cue ball-knowitall gone?

Even as they were going through the actions to finish their game, he kept having to brush off that uncomfortable, ominous feeling until he finally had to call a group meeting about it.

Turns out, Rose was having the same feeling. Apparently, none of the options she was trying to "see" (or whatever her powers let her do, it was all whack to him) had a truly fortunate outcome.

The problem in front of them now is that producing the necessary frog-DNA to do their bullshit minigame, while also NOT changing the timeline, when every necessary frog is long since dead and gone, and even the equipment for it all has to be re-created, is not an easy task. They were dealing with the shattered remains of two universes here, and any moment in the past the Heroes of Time could move around in still had a deadly fucking menace killing shit in it.

So, not easy to say the least, but possible. Karkat said it would probably take a year or two, in relative time, to pull it off but he was severely underestimating how absolutely fucked their sessions were.

It ended up taking  **several years** of cooperative teamwork to tediously do Jade's weird frog thing without breaking the timeline. Time which, honestly, wasn't entirely spent with them all working 24/7. It's not like they were in a rush after all, no point in burning themselves out with stress.

It was really just him, Jade, John, Karkat, Terezi, Kanaya and Rose who were messing around with the frogs. Karkat was mostly there 'cause he seemed to feel guilty 'bout fucking up in their session, and Terezi was… Well to be honest, he had no idea why she was hanging around, 'cause she sure wasn't helping with the actual frogs, but he wasn't complaining. It made the whole froggy rumpus factory a lot less tedious when they could banter and mess with Karkat some.

Whatever the fuck Aradia and Sollux were up to, he didn't look into it much. Still heard from them now and again, but it seemed everyone was sort of fine splitting up once in a while.

When the work finally came to an end and they were about to finish the cycle and bring forth their own genesis frog… it just failed. The frog just sort of fell apart into nothing. Several years worth of effort just turned into goo on the ground.

Dave shot Rose a look and she seemed to be just as unsurprised as he was.

They couldn't make a real universe anymore. This wasn't the Alpha Timeline.

That's what was throwing them off. As a Hero of Time and a Seer of Light, they could both feel it when they had veered off of the correct course of action.

But that was bullcrap! They'd done it, they solved the game, they'd almost had a perfect game! Was the Green Sun the real answer? But they killed Bec Noir anyway, they didn't NEED to blow up the sun! Were they supposed to fail or something? Fail to win?

While Dave was having a silent, brooding internal breakdown over the shittyness of the universe while sitting on the edge of some fuckall huge cliff into space, Rose took it upon herself to explain the situation to their other friends.

Terezi took it fairly well, even cracking a joke about it. Karkat took it… well, he took it about as well as he took anything, which is to say he threw a goddamn hissyfit about it, but that was probably just his way of coping.

John seemed upset about it, but talking with Jade for a while seemed to help him get over it. If anything he seemed to be the one handling things in the most healthy way.

Rose and Kanaya went off on their own for a bit, probably had something to talk about, but Dave wasn't in any position to really focus on it.

It just sucked. He was the Hero of Time, this was his  **thing** . It was this and irony. And sick, kind-of-ironic-but-not-really rapping. But Time was the thing people were relying on him to handle, and he'd fucking steered them right off the Alpha Timeline into chump-city, population: Fucking everyone.

He was about to spiral into another self-deprecating mental tirade when he noticed two things:

One, the background noise that was Karkat's incessant shouting had disappeared at some point. And more importantly,

Two, Terezi patting his back as she sat down next to him.

"SO, W4NT TO T4LK 4BOUT 1T? L1K3 1 G3T 1T 1F YOU DON'T W4NN4, BUT F1GUR3D YOU M1GHT 4PPR3C14T3 SOM3 COMP4NY."

He was just about to try and deflect with a semi-ironic phrase about stone-cold japanese swordsmen and how they only cry a single tear but only when they watch something beautiful like cherry blossoms or a sweet sword, when the shouty rumpus factory manager himself sat down on his other side.

"YEAH WELL HE AIN'T ABOUT TO ADMIT TO ANY DEEPLY SEATED EMOTIONAL SHIT THAT GOES ON IN THAT DUSTY, CLOSET-SIZED STUDIO-APARTMENT I'M CONCEPTIONALLY IMAGINING THAT HIS THINKPAN IS, WHICH BY THE WAY IS ONLY OCCUPIED BY LOW-INCOME FREELANCE SLAM POETS."

Well, that made just a smidge more sense than anything that usually came out of his mouth, but he wasn't one to give him the satisfaction of knowing it.

"Could we take this somewhere less public, where half the current population of the universe won't hear our every word, and by "our" I mean Karkat's?"

"I HAPPEN TO BE EXCELLENT AT NOT LETTING ANYONE HEAR WHAT I SAY WHEN IT FUCKING MATTERS BUT I NEED TO SHOUT SO I'M HEARD THROUGH YOUR DENSE THINKPAN SO YOU'LL TALK ABOUT SHIT!"

"L3T'S JUST H34D OV3R H3R3."

Terezi led the way, hand gripping around Dave's as if he was going to slip away if she didn't, which honestly speaking was pretty fair because it was like his first thought as soon as he realised they weren't going to let this go with his usual ironic deflections.

That, and Karkat was following right behind him and was probably just waiting for an opportunity to begin shouting as soon as he would try to make a half-baked excuse.

The benefit of having several bored trolls with lots of grist around was that there was more than enough room for everyone in the expanded building they loosely called their base, but the downside was that troll-architecture seemed intentionally confusing and redundant to confuse intruders. It just also happened to confuse Dave, so he had no idea how Terezi, who shouldn't even see where she's walking, had absolutely no issue finding an unoccupied lounge where they could claim the couch, lock the soundproof door (almost every room was soundproof and mostly because of Karkat's screaming and Gamzee's god awful clown music) and settle down.

"SO WHO W4NTS TO ST4RT?"

Dave pointedly opened a can of coke and took a long sip until Karkat began shouting.

"OH, DON'T FIGHT GUYS, THERE'S NO RUSH TO VOLUNTEER! FINE, I'LL GO FIRST SINCE THE TWO OF YOU ARE GOING TO BE GRUBS ABOUT IT!

SHIT SUCKS LIKE A FEKAL CHUTE BACKING UP IN THE UPPER FLOOR OF A HIVE DURING THE SCORCHING SEASON, OK? I'VE MANAGED TO FUCK UP AND NOT MAKE A UNIVERSE, EVEN THOUGH I HAD TWO FUCKING CHANCES AT IT! TWO! AND THAT'S NOT EVEN COUNTING THAT WE HAVE SEVERAL TIME PLAYERS AND TWO UNIVERSES TO TRY IT IN!

IT'S LIKE THE FUCKING UNIVERSE HAS IT OUT FOR ME, I CAN'T SUCCEED FUCKING ONCE, WHY CAN'T I GET A GODDAMN BREAK FOR ONE MISERABLE TIME IN MY LIFE?!"

"What he said," Dave said in between sips of his drink. When Terezi just raised an eyebrow in response, he realised that it's actually going to be really fucking hard to be evasive against a Seer of Mind. But that also probably means she knows how uncomfortable it is for him to talk about this shit, which means she still thinks he should do it.

Fuck, did he just talk himself out of avoiding this conversation? That shit-eating grin spreading across her face is a definite 'Yes' to that question. God, Seers were always so smug about this shit.

"Alright, alright, fine. So I'm disappointed, ok? Aren't I allowed to be? This whole thing-" he gestures vaguely around himself as if that had any inherent meaning, "was supposed to be  **my job** and I led our group right off the edge of the Alpha Timeline and now we're all going to fucking die or some weirdass thing like that because I couldn't fucking tell when we were doing something the universe thinks would've been too smart!"

"WHAT KIND OF HOOFBEAST CRAP IS THAT? WHO DIED AND PUT YOU IN CHARGE OF THE ENTIRE TANGLED MESS OF A GLOBE-WRINGING TIMELINE?"

"I'm the Hero of Time, that makes it  **my job** to not fuck up like this!"

"NUH-UH, CEASE THAT GIBBERISH AND SHUT YOUR IGNORANCE CHUTE FOR A SECOND! WE HAD NOT ONLY YOU, BUT ONE MORE TIME PLAYER, A LIGHT PLAYER, TWO SPACE PLAYERS AND A DOOM PLAYER. SO WE HAD SEVERAL PEOPLE WHO COULD HAVE BEEN JUST AS RESPONSIBLE FOR NOTICING HOW WE VEERED OFF TRACK. I MAY NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO MUCH, BUT I CAN FUCKING TELL A FUCKUP WHEN I SEE ONE AND THIS AIN'T IT PAL!"

"4ND 4LSO, W3'R3 NOT DY1NG."

That got both of the boys to pause for a moment, turning to face her grinning, smug face.

"4R4D14 H4S B33N WORK1NG W1TH SOLLUX TH1S 3NT1R3 T1M3 TO MOV3 US TO 4 DR34MBUBBL3 B3FOR3 W3 STOP 3X1ST1NG. 1 TH1NK TH3Y BOTH KN3W W3 W3R3 FUCK3D, 4CTU4LLY."

"WHAT?! THEN WHY DIDN'T THEY SAY ANYTHING? WE LITERALLY SPENT SEVERAL SWEEPS ON THIS FREAKISH GARBAGE!" Karkat shouts before extracting a mass of papers from his sylladex, "YOU GUYS MADE ME DO A WHOLE PAN-SEARING PRESENTATION OF MY PLAN FOR HOW TO FIND THE FROGS! I HAD TO DRAW THE TIMELINE IN THREE DIMENSIONS TO MAKE IT WORK! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FUCKING WORK THIS WHOLE USELESS, FETID PILE OF CRAP WAS?!"

"YOU H4D FUN THOUGH, R1GHT? WOULD YOU H4V3 H4D 4NYTH1NG MOR3 FUN TO DO TH4N H4NG OUT W1TH US TH1S 3NT1R3 T1M3? TH4T'S SORT OF TH3 PO1NT OF SOM3 OF TH1S G4M3, 1SN'T 1T? TO GROW UP 4ND G3T 4 H4PPY 3ND1NG OR SOM3TH1NG?"

"I… I don't know if that's the point of the game, but yeah," Dave says as he nods slowly, "I guess I've had fun in the end."

"WELL THAT'S GREAT, WE HAD A JOLLY FUN TIME LIVING IN A PILE OF ROCKS SMELLING THE ASS-END OF FROGS TO FIND DNA-JUICE FOR OUR SCHOOLFEEDING SCIENCE PROJECT OF A CHIMERA UNIVERSE SO THAT MAKES IT ALL WORTH IT IN THE END WHEN WE CEASE TO BE RELEVANT TO THE UNIVERSE AT LARGE. SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!"

"Well, it doesn't matter if we're relevant to the universe. We just proved we did too amazing of a job for the timeline to want anything to do with us, so it bailed on us like a teacher who just got shown up by the smartest kid in class proving her middle-age ass wrong and sent us to the principal's office."

"4ND W3 COULD DO WH4T3V3R. SOLLUX 4ND 4R4D14'S GOT TH3 DR34MBUBBL3S H4NDL3D, SO W3'R3 B4S1C4LLY FR33 TO CH1LL. 1 KNOW WH4T ROS3 4ND K4N4Y4 4R3 PROB4BLY DO1NG 4ND TH4T 1S GO1NG TO T4K3 4 WH1L3 B3FOR3 TH3Y 3V3N TH1NK TO COM3 S33 US, JOHN 4ND J4D3 W3R3 UP TO SOM3TH1NG S1M1L4R 4ND 1'M PR3TTY SUR3 TH3 M4YOR 4ND G4MZ33 H4S CL41M3D TH3 3NT1R3 K1TCH3N STOR4G3 FOR SOM3 K1ND OF C4RN1V4L OF C4NS."

"GREAT, SO NO FOOD FOR A WHILE BECAUSE THAT SHIT IS BASICALLY GOING TO BE A FURIOUS DAYMERE TO MANAGE IF WE WANT TO COOK ANYTHING. WANT TO WATCH A MOVIE OR SOMETHING? OR, FUCK, JUST WHATEVER?"

"Yeah, sure. We've exhausted all of John's favorite movies, three times over, and I'm not in the mood for even the most ironic of actually great movies right now. Why don't you two pick one?"

By the creepy-ass smiles the two trolls exchanged, Dave could immediately tell that he had made a terrible mistake. There were some loud arguments, or loud half of an argument, while the two picked a movie out of  **literally** over a billion films. And that was just the section of troll media that was considered their version of "romantic comedy".

By the time they were watching the 3rd of what was apparently a series of troll-Adam-Sandler movies, which he could still not grasp what God would allow this to exist, he could no longer take the repeated use of the same cliché'd situations. He had to voice his disbelief at how the same character, not just the same actor but  **the exact same** character, kept getting involved in love-triangles and fucking it up before a comical chase-sequence involving some kind of drone carrying buckets.

Before Karkat could launch into a rant, which Dave  **knew** he had to have been preparing for ever since they picked these movies, Terezi interrupted him by covering his mouth.

"1T'S PR3TTY ST4ND4RD F4R3 FOR TH1S K1ND OF MOV13. QU4DR4T1C 1NF1D3L1TY 1S L1K3, 4 CORN3RSTON3 OF TH3 G3NR3, 4ND TH3 M41N CH4R4CT3R 3ND1NG UP G3TT1NG CULL3D FOR F41L1NG TO M41NT41N 4 H34LTHY R3L4T1ONSH1P BY TH3 T1M3 TH3 DRON3S COM3 4ROUND 1S JUST SORT OF L1K3 4 MOR4L STORY 4T TH3 3ND OF TH3 MOV13."

"Ok, yeah, but he was supposed to have learned from the last movie, right? So this time he was trying to make those bullshit quadratic things work, right?"

At this point Karkat's violent struggles could no longer be contained as he wrestled away from Terezi's giggling hold on him, before shouting angry clarifications about his favorite genre of movies.

"NO HE FUCKING DIDN'T, DIDN'T YOU WATCH THE MOVIE?! HE JUST SPENT LIKE HALF AN HOUR OF OUR TIME TRYING TO SET UP CONCUPISCENT THREESOMES WITHIN THE SAME QUADRANT INSTEAD OF THE MUCH HEALTHIER OPTION OF MAINTAINING A PITCH RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CERULEAN HAG, WHO BY THE WAY IS THE MAIN CHARACTER DATING THE OTHER GIRL IN THE NEXT MOVIE. IT'S NOT QUADRATIC VACILLATION OR INFIDELITY THAT'S THE ISSUE IN THIS MOVIE, THE FOCUS IS ON HIS MORONIC ATTEMPTS AT BOTH HAVING HIS STACKED PASTRY DISKS AND EATING THEM TOO."

Wow, just wow. Karkat takes romantic comedy about two steps more seriously than John takes enjoying terrible movies.

"So why isn't it alright to do that? I mean, it wasn't quadr-fuck these terms-it wasn't square infidelity, they were all digging eachother, right?"

Terezi just had that shit-eating grin on her face while Karkat took a millisecond to process Dave's complete failure to grasp basic romantic comedy tropes and expectations.

"BECAUSE IT'S NOT HOW QUADRANTS WORK! YOU CAN'T JUST DO WHATEVER, IT LEADS TO UNNECESSARY DRAMA AND RISKS DESTABILISING THE RIGID SOCIAL STRUCTURES THAT FORMS THE VERY BASIS OF OUR SOCIETY! I KNOW THIS IS TROLL STUFF, BUT SURELY HUMANS HAVE SIMILAR PROBLEMS?"

"I mean, norms maybe but like, why's that anybody else's business but theirs what they do?"

At that point, Terezi settled back in between them, releasing her semi-chokehold on Karkat (how could he shout so much like that?) before continuing with that smile.

"WHY D4V3, WHY SO 1NT3R3ST3D 1N TH1S SUBJ3CT 4LL OF 4 SUDD3N?"

That shit-eating grin told Dave that not only was she up to something, he had probably walked right into some kind of trap he hadn't spotted until now.

And now that he was thinking about giving a serious reply, because he knew she would just pester him further if he tried and failed to make an appropriately sincere response, he started to properly realize the scope of how far he'd shoved his foot in his mouth.

Why did he so seriously try to figure out this shitty romantic comedy triangle business?

Uh-uh. No way was he seriously considering anything within the same horizon as this idea.

Terezi's smile did not stop for even a second. She had him metaphorically cornered and her goddamn psychic mind-reading nonsense meant he was disarmed of his most trusted weapons: ironic deflection and fake indifference.

Karkat was looking confused between them, Dave could practically see the tiny, angry cogwheels click and whirr in the near hollow space in between those nubby horns. Goddamnit, he knew too many movie tropes and it was literally just a matter of time before he caught on too.

"Terezi, Karkat, I-" he began before pausing. He had nothing. How the heck does one even begin saying something like this? 'Remember that time we drew the ouija-dick-board, man, wasn't that a fun distraction from talking about both of us dating Terezi? Or that time we just jammed some epic troll slam poetry and I wasn't as ironic about all the gay jokes as I pretended to be?'

Should he admit that he was actually kind of into them both, even when he had no fucking clue how troll romance worked? Like, he HAD given it some serious, non-ironic effort and watched their movies and read that god-awful fucking tripe of a book, but it was seriously confusing.

And fucking hell, now he had been pausing for WAY too long and it was getting even more awkward, somehow, how the fuck was this even possible?

The near reflexive urge to say something on at least three layers of irony was beating on the door to his speech centre when Terezi decided to absolutely smash that part of his brain with a single sentence.

"1 M34N 1F YOU'R3 BOTH 1NT3R3ST3D 1N G1V1NG 1T 4 TRY, 1'D B3 UP FOR 1T~"

While Dave.exe was busy rebooting, Karkat finally put the puzzle pieces together and promptly had the same reaction as Dave. Terezi had gone from looking smug and self-satisfied as hell to suddenly looking reasonable and like she had already thought this out, which she probably had.

"COM3 ON, W3 L1T3R4LLY M4K3 UP 4BOUT, L1K3, ON3 TH1RD OF 4LL TH3 TROLLS 1N 3X1ST4NC3 R1GHT NOW, 1T'S NOT L1K3 TH3R3'S 4 PO1NT TO C4R1NG 4BOUT SOM3 BRUT4LLY 3NFORC3D SOC14L R3G1M3 CR34T3D BY SOM3 B1TCH4SS ROY4LTY WHO DO3SN'T 3V3N 3X1STS 1N TH1S T1M3L1N3 4NYMOR3."

Karkat was still uncharacteristically quiet before he, for one of the very few times since Dave had known him, actually spoke in a normal tone of voice, which for him must be the equivalent of a whisper.

"Are… Are you two serious? Even Dave?"

Karkat was even averting his eyes, looking awkward as fuck and HOLY SHIT was he blushing? That was  **actually** adorable.

"Yeah man, I mean… I've just… had to think about this shit a lot first. Didn't think I'd ever actually man up and tell either of you about it though, suppose the plan was to kind of just shove all this stuff into my mental vault where I keep my sickest raps and computer passwords and then pretend everything was still cool."

Even Dave was surprised that he didn't give a reflexive, ironic answer. How the heck did they manage to finagle him into being this honest and open all of a sudden?

He had no idea how, but he would bet anything that Terezi had freaking planned this since at least… well, no, he had no idea how long back this stretched. For all he knew, she might have been plotting this talk ever since they met, she was so unreadable she was opaque.

"So… what do we do now? I mean, how is this going to be working out?" Dave asked, which felt like both the only thing he could think of saying and also the lamest thing he could say.

"S4M3 4S HOW 1T'D USU4LLY WORK OUT, JUST W1TH 4LL THR33 OF US!" she declared while leaning back on the sofa, wrapping her arms behind both of them and pulling them in close. "NOW L3T'S CONT1NU3 TH3 MOV13"

They started watching the movie again, in a sort of stunned daze, each of them processing what they'd just tentatively agreed to. Dave had just taken a sip of another coke when Karkat's sudden outburst caused him to spray it out over the table.

"WAIT CAN HUMANS EVEN PAIL WITH TROLLS?!"

It was not a rhetorical question, but Dave had to beat his malfunctioning lungs into submission before he could even think to answer, which gave Terezi the opportunity instead.

"OH, TH3Y SHOULD B3 4BL3 TO 1 TH1NK. 1 4SK3D ROS3 4BOUT 1T 34RL13R."

Well, that proved it, this was definitely planned, and his sister had conspired against him, that traitor! It was a Seer conspiracy against the vulnerable and Radical Knights of Bloody Slam Poetry and he wasn't going to stand fo-Wait how would Rose know about troll-human 'pailing'? Oh. Oh wow, nope. No he was  **not** going to mentally picture Rose and Kanaya d-Agh god now he was picturing it!

They had to pause the movie when Dave began pounding his forehead against the table while Terezi cackled in the background. At least it was merciful in that he didn't  **actually** know what the specific troll anatomy looked like, but that was a poor comfort. He needed brain bleach, pronto.

"H3Y, STR1D3R, TH1S COULD H3LP."

Dave straightened up a bit and leaned back against her arm again, only for her to lean in close and silence his imminent question with her lips over his.

The shock only paralyses him for a few moments of heart pounding intensity before she seems to have figured she'd given him enough time to react before he feels her oddly cool lips part and a long, alien tongue brushes up against his lips. He wasn't aware of giving them the signal to part, but they did anyway, letting her tongue brush up against his before he finally gets his act together.

He'd joked about 'sloppy troll makeouts' before, but he had not actually thought that this is what it'd feel like. She was a little colder than him, which felt both weird and  _ absolutely fantastic _ . He'd seen her lick a lot of various things before, but he hadn't considered how  _ long _ and dextrous her tongue was.

Ok, no, he had, on some lonely nights, but he didn't expect her to be this good at kissing. He quickly let her take the lead, if only because she seemed to be better at avoiding those sharp teeth of hers and he is honestly a bit too distracted to be thinking clearly enough to juggle  _ that _ at the same time.

She's aggressive, like she always is when she sets her mind to something, with Dave hesitantly brushing up against her tongue of his own volition whenever she pulls back a little. Time loses all meaning for the moment, but eventually they break off the kiss. Terezi's grin returns as she wipes her lips with one hand which breaks the string of saliva connecting the two of them.

Dave takes a shuddering breath, licking his lips absentmindedly. At some point he must have lost his glasses, probably just now, but his mind is feeling too fuzzy to care.

Meanwhile, Karkat is staring with his jaw wide open and his face almost more red than grey at this point.

"SORRY, D1D YOU W4NT 4 TURN? H3 T4ST3S R3D ON TH3 1NS1D3 TOO~" was all the warning either of them got before she moved behind Karkat and in one swift movement sent him tumbling on top of Dave. She was making a flustered mess out of two deadly knights here, but both of them were way too busy staring into each other's eyes and blushing up a storm to care.

He couldn't hear her stifled giggling over the pounding in his ears when Karkat leaned in closer, head tilting slightly to the side as his lips parted before softly pressing against his own.

Karkat was much less aggressive than Terezi had been, and Dave took the opportunity when he saw it, mimicking what he had just experienced from the other point of view this time, with only slightly more clumsy movements. Karkat was just way different, he wasn't as cold, if anything he was warmer than Dave and his teeth weren't sharp, relieving him of the fear of hurting himself as their kiss grew increasingly intense as both of them tried to take the lead over the other.

It was only when Dave noticed the sudden absence of Terezi's gleeful giggling that he paid attention to anything outside their tongue-twisting kiss and noticed that Karkat's hands were in the middle of pulling up his shirt. He was almost offended that he had been outdone in their little contest of 'who's the top' when he noticed he was basically doing the same. When had that happened and why the hell was he stopping?

It was a good question, as they quickly separated and quickly tried to undress without actually moving away from each other, while Terezi moved in closer, biting her lip as she enjoyed the show. Actually, could she enjoy the show? What was this looking like to her?

He got his answer when she reached out, seemingly to help him but also running her hands across his pecks, pausing at his nipples before trying to sort of pinch one of them.

"OH, R1GHT. M4MM4L, HUH? D1DN'T TH1NK YOU'D H4V3 TH3S3 TOO."

Dave gave her an almost disbelieving look, trying to not think about how good that had felt before she let go.

"You're not a mammal? what're… those then?" he said, gesturing towards her chest, at which point she promptly pulled off her shirt, giving both of them full view of her nude upper half.

Both she and Karkat had these colourful markings down the side of their ribs, clearly visible on their toned, grey bodies. But only Terezi had what he would call 'breasts', and which she called spheres or something, large enough that he wondered if he could fit them in a palm each. It would be a close call.

And both of them had what he had figured were nipples, coloured in teal and red respectively.

"WELL NOT FOR FEEDING GRUBS WITH, OBVIOUSLY." came the reply.

Dave was about to reply but had to bite his lip to keep quiet when Terezi leaned in for a taste, dragging her tongue where her hand had just been. And she was undoing his fly without looking while Karkat was trying to wiggle his way out of his own pants while clearly more than a little distracted by what they were doing just in front of him.

"YOU L1K3 TH1S HUH~? S33MS L1K3 W3 H4V3 SOM3 S1M1L4R1T13S TH3N."

Dave only nodded, he didn't trust his voice to keep calm and suave at this moment, especially when he could look at Karkat just a foot or two away from him in just his grey underwear, the cloth in the front looking like it was actually soaking through at a bulging reddish spot. A spot that was  _ moving _ .

Karkat seemed to get over his spell of shyness at being stared at by reaching around Terezi's arm and helping to tug down Dave's pants, lifting his legs up a bit to pull them off and leaving him in just his underwear and socks.

With a very obvious tent in the front.

"WHY IS IT SO STIFF-LOOKING?"

"Why is yours  _ moving _ ?"

"WH3R3 D1D MY P4NTS GO?!"

Both of them looked at Terezi, standing next to them and with her pants landing far away in the back of the room.

And although she was wearing some kind of black boxers, they were bulging even more with something moving slowly. Tt was probably also soaking through, although the dark material didn't show it as easily.

"You're… You have one too." Dave said, stating the obvious but someone had to say it and Karkat was too busy staring at his crotch.

"L1K3 WH4T YOU S33?" she teased while inching down the boxers bit by bit, drawing Karkat's eyes away from Dave as she revealed a… Well, a tentacle? A writhing, slick, teal tentacle that was dripping with the same teal-coloured fluid which was staining her thighs and boxers.

"Shit."   
"SHIT."

"W3LL? 4R3 YOU JUST GONN4 ST4R3 OR 4R3 YOU GONN4 L3T M3 H4V3 4 LOOK TOO?"

Karkat took a deep breath before pulling his underwear down in one go with far more decisiveness than his grumbling, blushing face implied he could muster. And yep, there was another, slightly thicker tentacle, all candy-red and making a right mess of his crotch and thighs as it moved around.

Dave's eyes darted back and forth between the pair as he stared slack jawed. It was kind of hypnotising to watch them writhe like that. He had completely forgotten to finish undressing himself, but neither of them had.

They both leaned forward and grabbed one side of his underpants, pulling them down and tugging his painfully hard dick down with them until it slipped free and slapped against his abdomen.

Dave figured he was pretty big at nearly eight inches, he looked like he might be bigger than Karkat was although it was hard to tell with his curling around itself and moving like that.

Terezi, however, definitely had him beat by some inches, he could see that even if he couldn't measure it directly. And why were they staring at his junk like that?

"THIS IS SORT OF WEIRD."

"L3T M3 H4V3 4 LOOK~"

By which she didn't mean with her eyes, apparently, as Terezi leaned forwards and reached out with her hands, wrapping one hand around his stiff member and the other sort of grasping his sack.

"Ah-Careful with the balls, 'rezi"

"1 KNOW, 1 H4V3 4 BOOK ON TH1S."

"WAIT, HOW DID YOU GET A BOOK ON HUMAN ANATOMY?"

"K4N4Y4."

And that was all the answers they were getting out of her before she got real close and extended her long, dexterous tongue to drag across the underside of Dave's dick, curling along the head before she took it in her mouth, somehow keeping her teeth from even touching it.

It was overwhelming him, the feeling of her slightly cold tongue moving around his dick as she moved her lips over it, spreading a mix of her slick saliva and his pre over it, moving her mouth lower and lower until she was nearly all the way down before she had to pull back, letting go of it with a smacking sound.

"Holy shit… hah…"

"1TS SO H4RD 4ND S4LTY"

He finally caught his breath and saw Karkat staring at him with that adorable blush and-Holy crap had his junk grown?

It seems neither of the trolls had been at full mast before, having grown almost half again as long as before and made a dripping mess of the couch cushions.

"D1BS ON TH3 M1DDL3!"

Before either of the other two could snap out of their stupor, she'd taken the lead again, slipping in between the two of them, settling one knee on either side of Dave as she hovered with her rear above his crotch, facing away from him and towards Karkat.

One hand suddenly grabbed Dave's dick and angled it upwards, and only now did he notice that there was a rather human-looking vulva past the tentacle distraction he had been paying attention to. Only her member was squeezing out of an opening roughly where the clit would've been. And that was as far as he got in his observations before he saw her lower herself towards him and he felt his dick press against something that quickly yielded and soon wrapped around his head like a vice.

"OOF- H3'S… NOT 4S PL14BL3, H3H. 1 C4N F-F1T 1T THOUGH~"

Dave's view of Karkat was obscured, but he had more pressing matters to be completely blown away by, such as how her slick and tight snatch was working its way down his shaft a little bit further with every time she shifted herself up and then down a little. It was all he could do to try and keep himself from approaching his climax too quickly, while she was riding him while moaning loudly, apparently not even close to being as concerned as he was with the shameless sounds they were making.

He heard an "eep" sound as Terezi had suddenly grabbed Karkat by the hips on her down-swing and pulled him in close. She lifted him up almost effortlessly so he straddled her lap in a carry position, pausing her bouncing for just a moment as she seemed to blindly feel her way around him with just her tentacle. It momentarily coiled around his before it found his useful anatomy just past it, sliding its way home in his nook as he let out a moan in a pitch of voice Dave had never heard come from him before.

And then she resumed her bouncing on Dave's dick, as if she had no issue whatsoever carrying and fucking Karkat at the same time, soon working her way low enough that Dave felt himself bottom out in her before she took his entire length, spearing herself on his member.

He couldn't help it any longer and was suddenly VERY thankful for the sound isolation as he joined her and Karkat in voicing his pleasure, placing his hands on her hips, holding her as they went at an increasingly hard pace.

He was fast approaching his limit, but the intensity of their screwing was making it hard to articulate anything more intelligent than a moaning, half-cried sentence when that sensation of bottoming out was replaced by a feeling of the head of his member squeezing past an even tighter opening and lodging itself there as the sensation pushed him over the edge. All three of them cried out in unison as Dave's turgid member throbbed in pulses as ropes of pent-up semen splattered against Terezi's internal walls.

Terezi on the other hand was in just as bad of a mess, it was like her own slice of heaven as she felt that hot, solid member lodge itself past her seedflap and unload an equally hot load inside her, pushing her to her climax as she similarly slipped her tapered member into Karkat's same opening, pumping him full enough with her teal slurry that it was making a visible bulge on his stomach.

Karkat had lost his senses and was a limp, dangling mess in her hands, his own member pulsing as it sent streams and drops of red genetic slurry fly, splattering the both of them and some flying over her shoulders to rain around randomly near Dave. The feeling of getting stretched out and  **filled** like that with Terezi's cold fluids was just  _ crazy _ how good it felt. He had never gotten pailed before, but this was incomparable to getting off on his own.

When Dave finally came to his senses, Terezi had pulled herself off of him and brought Karkat with her as she laid them down by him on the couch. He was soon being snuggled between both Terezi and Karkat, their spent members having withdrawn inside of them and leaving an absolute fucking mess on the couch and room, with Karkat slowly leaking a pool of teal stuff from between his thighs.

Terezi's voice mumbled from beside him, as she pulled a blanket over them.

"Just 4 l1l n4p… th3n you'r3 1n th3 m1ddl3~..."

**Author's Note:**

> Yay, I made a thing!  
> I just had to get some smutty thoughts out of my head and into words so I could focus on my other fics for a bit!  
> (Because those fics haven't gotten to a point where I can write smut just yet >_<)
> 
> Anyway, tell me what you thought and I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
